PITY ME AND READ MY STUFF

WHY AM I DRIVING MYSELF INSANE

I mean this is not definitely the first time I have written something wrong. And a friend of mine S M Mamunur Rahman was writing about how you don’t need to necessary write masterpieces and you need to read more to actually become a master in any craft. Most importantly if we just accepted we are no experts we will be fine.

But that being said I am writing about 4 years later on a regular basis and obviously, I think I forgot everything about writing. I am just trying to be brave and write something witty. I guess it's not necessary to be funny. Well, I hope it's not, or basically, I am fucked.

But that being said with all my comic approach to life I seem to selectively be pained by things/people I expect more from. I expect more from my writing-career? I expect a lot more from people I love and obviously writing.

But lets not kid myself I can't really write well after wallowing for four years in misery. The best thing that can come out from these jumbled pieces of words is something to pity at best.

But to be honest its okay to have pity. I have had pity for lunch before and for dinner as well. It wasn't that bad and if pity set me on my way to something better why not. I just dont think its a bad thing to live on pity. We are after all looking for some sort of feedback from life. Pity is feedback, albeit a meagre one.

Of course you can say why don't you set yourself free caring about what other people think. Well, I cant yet. I feel too much seen and I want to be seen. I want to blend in my crowd. Find my people and become part of something wonderful. Its not a bad ask, but it maybe too much to ask from me at this point(being on such a long detour).

So let me suck at this for a while. And I wish you all will pity me. Cause I am on a mission. And I believe writing one page a day might get me there.