Living with someone makes you better?

I am fiercely individualistic, or I used to be.

But it was partially because I was always seeing the difference in me and other people instead of seeing the similarities.

And I realised seeing similarities meant seeing the flaws in myself too. When I saw how annoying I was like that old woman in the class who didn't let anyone talk and just blabbered on.

I saw that I did the same, I was a little better at taking turns but I would always try to divert a conversation towards my comfort zone and like an idiot go into an argument.

I had the best of intentions, to be honest. I wanted to learn more but I wanted to learn more only about the things I wanted to learn, not expand or broaden my horizon into other things that other people might be interested in.

My teacher would sometimes argue with me that I took everything into a philosophical debate, well that is what I was interested in. I was interested in philosophical and moral debates more than anything practical.

I called that focus, while in reality, it was a defence mechanism because I didn't want to take others’ ideas and let them blend with mine because I felt the ideas that I have are precious.

I defined my identity as something that is shaped by what I did and what I knew, so I never thought of identity.

Now I am living with a woman, perhaps for the rest of my life, and her thoughts and ideals clash with mine, I have to take care of her too as she takes care of me. I have to understand her needs to explore thoughts as she wants to explore them without me pushing them sideways.

I have to make accommodations. And more than anything else I am finding this change fascinating. I am questioning my ideals and those that I practise too and mostly they are worlds apart.

Its interesting to say the least.