Fuck goals! Learn!!

I struggle with keeping a habit.

I have been told that I cannot keep things going. I am very unpredictable, untrustworthy…etc...

And I took it as a chronic illness and accepted it as a given.

Only recently did I take a deeper dive into it. And now I know it's not true at all. The first epiphany came when someone close to me told me that I was very stable. I was like, “What the fuck?” “Me!! stable!?”

“She must be out of her mind”

But she wasn't, she was saying what she saw in the limited time I was with her. But none of my old friends would agree, because they have never seen me stable. I was always running after so many different things!

But she was absolutely right! I realize I have become stable and taken life by the balls very recently. Running, painting, writing- learning and growing.

And it took me a while because there is a pressure for perfectionism in society that is misplaced. It doesn't care so much of someone who is just trying to learn.

Perfect means dying. Being perfect means you are done, over, finished. Learning means not being perfect, learning means growing.

…I am just interested in a lot of things…

Deconstruct that sentence, what does it mean? A lot of things are still finite!

The only thing infinite is us(coughs) but we have finite interests. And it's okay to be interested in many things. It's absolutely normal and in fact, I don't trust someone who says they are only interested in one thing its an outright lie!

Here are some tips to break the cycle:

  1. Change the way you speak to yourself. Tell yourself that you are interested in a lot of things and that is alright. Be interested and find ways to learn about them.

2. Don't listen to criticism from critics who don't know how to critique with a Q. Most people don't know how to criticise properly, they would just say its good or bad, or force their opinion down your throat, “don't do that” “don't do this”. Remember the critic is a loser who wants to keep you in his/her/their circle in order to maintain the social loser structure! Listen to constructive criticism, they should first say what's good about it, then they should tell you what they think would be an interesting idea which you might or might not take. If there is a critic in you too first of all Fuck you! But also here's how you critic.

First, say what's good about it, oh I like this part of it- appreciate the creativity/work they have put into it, even if you think its sloppy and not up to the mark. Second, Give them the power to choose for themselves, it's their work, give them a question. Do you think this part of the work could be like this would this be a good idea? DISCUSS don't give them your opinion like an asshole.

3. Take yourself seriously. Society pushes so much negativity towards us that we cannot take ourselves seriously without feeling shame or guilt. Try to push back, make time for yourself and listen to your ideas, dont self negate. Encourage yourself. Here is an exercise that I sometimes do. I write to myself as if I were a child. I envoke curiosity, I kindly tell myself about life and listen to myself actively- More on this on the next blog.

You can try this: Map your interests at any given time(interests change too and that's okay too) find out what you are interested in, and set aside five minutes to do them all. Maybe you are in the tube/train/subway and you spend time writing a bit of poetry. It's okay you don't have to be perfect at it. Just do it for yourself and trust me you'll know when you are good at it. This brings me to the final point

4. You'll know when you are good at it. Don't rush yourself, don't worry about putting it in social media if your followers are just mindless critics. Work on it till you are satisfied. Don't get FOMO(fear of missing out)! Make a support group of learners if you can and post them. But remember to always set rules on criticism.

Remember to try new things every day, trust me you'll run out of things soon!

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